I unplugged from watching TV a few years ago.
The majority of my formative years were so want without a television in the house and although I was convinced that I was deprived somehow it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
When I left home I made up for what I thought I had missed and became overloaded. I even studied media and for a while work in production for a show at the BBC.
Nowadays I am back to the girl I was at school. Unable to enter into some conversations because I have no idea what/who people are taking about.
When I do watch everything seems overly stimulating. Too loud, too bright, too good to be true in some ways.
Compared to what I witness in my world with my own eyes there is a huge disparity.
What I witness most is the differences that people readily look for in order to identify themselves.
Most commonly needing to establish another's age so they can then measure their own and decide whether the other looks good for their years.
Without television to bombard me with its idea of what I should be thinking my mind is free to establish its own opinion and connections.
I am literally creating my own world.
In my world the people are going about their business trying to do the best they can. Some appear to be enjoying themselves and others are experiencing a more trying time.
Some are great to be around and others test your resolve. Not every encounter is a happy one.
I am aware of the 'news'. This daily dose of information that does not seem to make anybody feel empowered or hopeful and yet they seem compelled and obliged view to it.
In the past I have been described as apathetic but I am aware of the events that are pushed into the faces of the wider population. I spend too much time online and on social media to not be.
My greatest observation is my ability for observation. This may be because as I writer look at the world differently but I notice the subtle connections that bind us more than the differences that are perpetuated.
But also to paradox that statement I notice the similarities in what people say. The phrases they repeat mechanically that they assume are conversations. The low opinions they hold about themselves that are clearly a comparison to a forced ideal.
I find the space and silence if no television liberating. There is so much subtlety and nuance in everyday life when you have the room to appreciate it.
Giving honour to yourself to allow your own thoughts and opinions to flood your mind you will start to meet yourself.
This is not always easy and by no means instant - thank goodness - but getting to really untangle who you are from who you have believed yourself to be is possibly the greatest adventure you will ever embark upon.
Thanks for reading.
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