A couple of days ago I passed someone who looked so much like somebody I used to know that I had to stop and turn just to be sure it was not them. As I continued walking, I was filled with a sense of relief that initially surprised me. This was somebody who had been so close to me that at one point imagining life without them in it was painful.
And now the opposite was true.
In order to maintain certain relationships in our lives, each party has also to maintain certain aspects of themselves. But I am a growth addict, I live to learn and expand. The person I was even a few weeks ago is unfamiliar to who I am today.
Encountering the doppelgänger reminded me of who I was when I associated with that person. It was mostly during a very trying time in my life. There was constant uncertainty and to a certain extent they provided some form of stability even though in hindsight I recognise there were signs.
I was not in a good place personally. I limited myself and conceded often in order to continue the relationship.
As I started to assert myself things broke down fairly rapidly and the loss I had been dreading felt like an instant release.
Can the reason we hold animosity to another be that they remind us of a less evolved and perhaps more gullible version of ourselves?
This is definitely how I felt. There was no hate or particularly strong emotion but rather a private acknowledgement that I needed to continue to move forward. All was well.
That past shadow crossed me to remind me of how far I had come.
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