The glamour purported by the media and the industries themselves about working in Film and Music entice and entrap the aspirations of a great number of people.
Many of whom lack the ability, discipline or desire to carry out the necessary pivotal tasks or the passion required to overcome the inevitable obstacles.
As a result opportunistic wheeler dealers types will proposition themselves to the ignorant fame seekers as dream makers.
Over the years I have met this character many, many, many times. Often they are a person with limited business knowledge, zero creativity and delusions of being a Svengali.
I have always done my upmost to understand as best I can what is happening in the industry. The law, technology and the general zeitgeist all have an such effect on music that the structure under which it operates is a mailable and fluid.
Yet there are still some with outmoded ideals circling around looking to find somebody to hoodwink.
After deciding to take the project on myself until I (maybe) find the right person to partner with, my focus has been moving ahead with what I have presently. I truly believe that the right people will come to me at the right time as long as I keep going.
So I did not expect the return of the this character but one the past couple of months they have showed up.
What has been very telling has been the main motivation of these people. Early on in their pitches to me they have both expressed a desire to 'make loads of money' which is fair enough but that is not my motive. I want it to be a consequence of a job well done.
Neither understood or it seemed cared about what my overall vision was and thought it would be enough to make me famous and then the millions would cascade in.
The methods for this were revolutionary.
I would 'make some videos and go viral' or 'do The Voice'.
The most recent of these 'Mavericks' came into my life last week and had it seemed already assigned himself to the position because as I at first politely explained why the ideas were at odds with my long term vision he adopted a tone that seemed to imply that he was running the CMW show!
The temerity! (My favourite word)
Then I let him have it in as ladylike a way as I could muster, bearing in mind we were in public.
Looking back I think I was feeling frustration from meeting this archetype again and trying to vindicate the younger, greener me who had been used and manipulated.
Reflecting on it further I could see why I had to experience this.
There has always been an underlying conflict within me about my reasons for wanting to achieve in music. I have always wanted to perform and be successful and yet the thought of fame as I perceived it was at odds with something within me.
Hence me sabotaging opportunities that have come my way.
I have been able to put that inner struggle to rest now. My intentions are true and not as a result of a rampant ego. Had there been another motive I suspect I would have ridden a quicker train to 'success' eons ago.
So learned a lesson. There will be many more for sure.
I wonder who I will meet 'again'.
Thanks for reading.
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